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A unique approach to communication is what I like to call story power. Story power is an effective way of communicating, listening, and understanding each other. It is a tool that enables us to comprehend the point or message we are trying to convey.
The core of a story well expressed can mold thinking and serve as a guide for behavior. When we share our stories, we can use them to teach our values and develop honesty, responsibility, and strong, positive character in those we are mentoring or nurturing. The events and experiences we live through provide legacies for our children and others. A good story establishes a bond between the teller and the listener. It bridges realities and brings people with opposing views closer together.
I remember when I first realized the significance and impact that story power could have. After I'd returned to college and earned a master's degree in counseling, I began public speaking to adult groups. Then I decided to try to motivate teenagers. I can still remember my first high school address in 1982. Believe me, nothing is more sobering than speaking to a group of 1,800 teenagers. I stood there looking out at all those kids squirming and tittering in their seats, quieting only when the principal stood to introduce me. I looked out at their faces, some full of expectation, others staring belligerently, victims of inattentiveness and neglect. In the hush, I could almost hear their hormones raging.
As I walked to the center stage, I wondered what I had been thinking to take on an assignment like this. I'm not Eddie Murphy, Michael Jordan, or Bill Cosby. I'm just a regular guy. The only other time I'd addressed kids was in a ninth grade speech class, and I was a kid myself. My assignment was to pretend that I was telling reluctant taxpayers why they should pay their taxes. You can imagine how that ended.
Now an adult, my heart raced as I faced this high school address and I was introduced. I broke into my prepared material, using all of what I'd rehearsed and memorized. I looked out and saw from the faces that I was on a mild roll. Then, twenty minutes into the presentation, my life passed before me. Not only had I forgotten the point I was trying to make, but I'd run out of material. What was I going to do?
I took a deep breath and did what came naturally. I began telling a storyone about my life. Then I looked at the audiencesilence. They were listening. From that moment on, I knew I had made a major transition in my life.
I've since traveled to thirty states, spoken to more than a million teenagers, and about half as many parents. My message is a simple one. I say that everyone's behavior is guided by a story that has recurring themes and residues of the past. I teach them that our stories affect the way we talk to one another and guide the way we live our lives.
In the ongoing process of developing communication skills, I find it very effective to use a story to help…
• Introduce an idea
• Convey a point of view
• Instruct
• Convey opinions, beliefs, and facts
• Offer reasoned arguments
• Share virtues
• Explain positions, and feelings
When using a story or narrative to convey a message or a lesson, here are a few tips to follow:
1) Once you decide on a story, keep its purpose in mind. Envision yourself moving toward a finish line and make the story travel in that direction so you don't go off on a tangent. Through experience, you'll learn how to shape your stories.
2) When telling your story, try to include colorful details to make it interesting. Include details by answering questions such as: How old were you? Who else was there? Where did the event take place? What were your emotions at that particular time? Try to recreate dialogue with those who were involved in your story.
3) Don't drag your story out. It should last anywhere from two to ten minutes. Pause occasionally to let the listener ask a question or respond to a point you've made.
4) Don't strive for a big ending. Leave that to the filmmakers. Try to wind up by saying something such as, "What happened here made me think about…" Or, "I guess it reminded me that…."
In bridging the communication gap between gender, generations, ethnic groups, religious groups, and just people in general, conveying a point, message, or a lesson through the medium of a good story enables one to cross boundaries and create common ground. Stories about our lives or the lives of others enable people to understand our thoughts, feelings, and actions. They can provide a bridge that crosses over attitudes, judgmental perceptions, and preconceived ideas and give insight straight into our hearts.
(Excerpt from Story Power: Talking With Teens in Turbulent Times by John Alston.)
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by JohnAlston.com
CONTACT
INFO: John
is available for speaking engagements and interviews.
He can be reached by calling his Program
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